PICK A MEMORY – ANY MEMORY

Try to think way back when you were a kid. Now think about a time when you went to visit Grandma and Grandpa, and walked into their kitchen and smelled something wonderful cooking on the stove. Perhaps it was one of your favorite meals like franks and beans — the aromas of fried slab bacon and maple syrup. Or maybe it was that huge pot of spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove… brimming with fresh garden tomatoes, garlic, basil and the fragrance of pan-fried meatballs all in one. You might have gone over to that stove and removed the lid from the pot and stuck your nose in it just to savor that moment.

If you are a bit older, perhaps you remember your mom asking you to take in the freshly washed laundry off the clothes line because the sky looked like rain. You removed the wooden clothes pins holding the sheets and pillow cases, and just for a moment placed the sun-freshened fabrics up to your nose to again savor that moment.

If you were like most families, you had at least one uncle who smoked those awful stogie cigars, and when you walked into their house you held your breath and headed for the nearest door or window. If you wanted to vomit right there and then, that memory was stored securely in your brain. Oh, don’t get me started on relatives who stuffed moth balls into every cabinet, drawer and closet. That’s a smell your brain WANTS to forget!

I’m often asked by friends or family members if I remember a certain incident or memory from my childhood, that they too remembered. I have to admit, I do have trouble conjuring up some of those memories, unless I can tie two or three of those so called sensory recollections together to get the full mental picture of that incident. It’s really difficult, and as we age, it gets even more arduous.

Our brains are like sponges. As we develop, we are able to process more and more of what we call sensory adaptations. This, basically, is gathering as much information about a certain incident or occurrence and tying it all together to create that memory. At some point, however, our brains just say enough is enough, and they learn to just simply “tune out” anything that is not relevant to that memory. I’ll explain this in a little more detail.

Without sensory adaptation, we would not be able to navigate our own personal worlds. However, at some point those senses become overwhelmed, so our brains are wired to simply keep just the most important information in our long term memory, and delete all the rest. Mind you, we are also so evolved that our brains can sort out what is needed and what is not, and to “save” those memories within microseconds. The brain also tries to keep from becoming overloaded with stimuli, to prevent us from having mental breakdowns.

We were taught at an early age that humans have five senses. Well, this is true, but it is also not. We have many, many more senses that keep us functioning, such as a sense of balance, a sense of hunger, movement, body position, and even that all important one… love. The original five senses are the ones we rely on most in our daily lives. When you reached for the clothes on the clothesline, you felt their softness. Touch helped you determine if something needed ironing or not, depending on the wrinkles in the fabric. Taste and hearing didn’t play a part in this, although as I previously mentioned, smell had a lot of influence on that memory.

In order for us to “remember” something from our past, our brain needs to re-create that memory from a lot of stored information. Let’s take that special birthday you celebrated when you were nine years old.

You probably went to school that day, and got a lot of congratulations from your friends and teacher. It might have been a cold and rainy day as well. Perhaps you got some cards from some of your close friends and maybe even that special “boy/girl” friend. Perhaps your mom put a note in your lunch pail, to wish you a happy day, and maybe added your favorite candy bar to that lunch.

Do you remember any of those cards? Probably not. Do you remember that special note or that candy bar? Probably not. Do you remember getting soaking wet walking from the bus stop? Probably not!

What you probably do remember is coming home that day and smelling the aroma of a chocolate cake baking in the oven, and maybe seeing a really big, fancy, bow-wrapped gift sitting on the table, just for you. Maybe you remember one of your siblings smacking you across the back of the head or giving you a wedgie just for the happy occasion (of course, they were always doing crap like that to you, so it wasn’t that memorable after all). By the way, Mom probably has a picture or two of that day, the cake, gifts and your look of torment from getting tortured by your sister.

I’ve come to the conclusion that if our brains recorded at least three major sensations from each of our most important incidents, then we are usually able to remember the whole incident in greater detail. The sights, smells and tastes are the things that the brain saves most from a memorable occasion, but retrieving those memories gets more difficult as we age.

Like that sponge I mentioned earlier, as we age, our brains eventually learn to tune out a lot of what it thinks we don’t need to hold onto. For example, you are in your mid- to late-forties, and you go to a concert. Unlike when you were in your twenties, your brain is only going to process what it thinks is needed to function at that very moment, to keep it from overloading. It may record that one song was too loud, or one song was annoying, one song just grated on your nerves, and another one was really peaceful and comforting. Those songs will be “remembered”. It may not record that you spent way too much money for those tickets, or that you had to park all the way out in section J of the parking lot, or that it took almost 3 hours to drive that 26 minutes to get back home.

If you were twenty again, you would be able to recite every song’s lyrics, what kind of beer you drank, all the names of your friends you were with, and maybe even what trashy clothes you donned for the evening.

As we age, our brain is always seeking out new stimuli, and it wants to replace everything we see, hear, smell, touch and feel within a few minutes. It just doesn’t have that much more capacity to hold onto each and every detail any longer. Believe me, this is for your own good, unless you are going to be a contestant on Jeopardy.

So, if you want to recall that ugly Colonial red carpet in your childhood home, or that really ugly broken-down Christmas tree that dad got at a discount one Christmas, or maybe even that sparkly gold surfer’s cross you accidently “stole” from W.T. Grant’s store one summer, then I suggest you get out those old photo albums, or spend a good day browsing through your local antique store, because these will help you put together those missing parts of the puzzle that will help you piece together those old memories and bring them back to life.

So, for our readers who might be just a little bit older, here is a scientifically proven method that you can implement NOW to help you remember some of those important moments. It’s called the 7-10 Second Rule. If you are struggling to remember a person’s name, once you hear it, say it over and over in your head for at least 7 to 10 seconds. You must concentrate on just that name and nothing else. If you want to remember where you placed your keys after placing them down, focus on them and their surroundings for 7 to 10 seconds to make it stick. If you want to remember to pick up ice cream from the grocery store, focus your mind on the brand, flavor and picture on the carton, and store that information in your brain for 7 to 10 seconds. Just this little bit of concentration and focus will help you store and retain those trivial things we rely on so much.

Now I’m going to go through my 7,000+ pictures of my past travels and try to remember some of the great meals I ate and where I ate them . This should be fun.

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